Ready for The Promise

Since the last time I've posted so much has changed in my life.  The business of my new life has kept me from posting but I have returned with plenty to say. As I told you all in my last post I was expecting a baby girl and by the grace of God she is here Healthy and Happy. My baby has changed mines and my husbands entire world. I am truly]=
grateful for her and that God decided to bless me to be a mother. My Baby is a promise from God.  Have you ever prayed to God for something continually and over time you kind of let that prayer kind of sit in the back of your mind. You haven't completely given up on it but, your kind of in between. You want to have hope and not doubt God but afraid to be hopeful just in case it never happens. Then eventually you kind of forget about the prayer you put in the atmophere and go forward with life. Your only sometimes reminded when the thing you want is present, seeing a friend or love one get what you wanted , a commercial on tv, or maybe an add on your facebook page.  Its in those moments you feel a slight ache for the thing you want, your either get sad about it or like me I put a positive spin on it. It was Gods will what he wanted for me.

Before my recent marriage, I had been married previously and things didn't work out (apparently lol). Once in the marriage all of the things that I had ignored in the relationship had went far left and everything fell apart. I realized as I went over the situation time and time again that instead of allowing God to lead me into this marriage I let circumstances put me into getting married.  Im grateful for the experience because, reflecting on them  I realized the significance
of my promises.  I had forgotten that God is a man that does not lie. I was so unhappy in my past marriage I gave up on the possibility of ever getting the happiness I desired. Then came these called  “signs” and confirmations that led me to believe my happy ending was far from coming true. At the age of 30 people began to question why I wasn’t married and why I didn’t have children. “ Your such a nice girl I don’t understand why your not married”. “ If you don’t have a baby soon your eggs are going to dry up “ just some of the things I would hear from friends family members etc. After a while I allowed there negativity to settle in my mind and subconsciously gave up waiting on my promises.  Thank God My promises didn’t give up on me!

I have experienced blessings in my life and I knew without a shadow of a doubt it had to be God. I have been snatched from some very dark and dangerous situations that I knew myself nor anyone else could of  helped me get out of. There are something’s only God Can deliver you from.  As I look back now I’m almost shocked at the before and after. If you have been following my blog you know the story of  last marriage and how low I had felt.

 So here I am half way through my 30s now divorced and still no children . My heart was heavy my spirit confused and feeling empty. I had no idea my promises were sitting on ready waiting on me , they were waiting for me to feel I deserve to have them. You see it makes no sense for God to bless you with a blessing your not equipped to handle. It’s like starting a new job with out proper training you most likely will end up lossing the job because you aren’t equipped to know how to keep it. I was now at a cross roads would I stay down or would I push all of the negativity and all of the things others were saying out of my head or would I just walk around wounded looking for the wrong thing to heal my wounds.  Thankfully I had enough of  Gods word in me to keep me from falling completely off , the desire to seek him and his word was still in my heart .  I began to attend a new church with my best friend of 14 years and now is my current husband. Didn’t know the promise was already with me. I can’t speak for anyone else but I know for me I had a habit of looking for blessings to look a certain type of way. I don’t know where I got that perspective from but I had it , and it was hindering me .

Once I got over the hurdle of the divorce, and began to renew my broken spirit, getting back in church and reading my word , taking responsibility for my part in the situation , deciding to let it go and to live for today. The doors And windows came open and my answered prayers begin to fly in like a swift breeze. It was like a blink of an eye , im married to the one person who knows me better than anyone else who had shown me unconditional love  and support over these many years. Because he wasn’t wrapped up in a pretty perfect bow I over looking him .  It’s crazy how everyone has a past but can be so judgmental about other people past. That right there may be the blockage to what God has in store for you. It sure was for me , now let me be clear I didn’t judge my current husbands about the details of his past but what I did do was I looked past him as a possible contender because I knew so much about his past and didn’t think it could ever change. I being the key word , I had made that decision that things would never change.  But .... now  I wake up everyday with joy in my heart , I smile through out my day as I care for my princess .i live in hope and  I leave the metaphorical windows and doors open for the next blessing. I count it all joy because I wasn’t perfect, I had given up , I had gotten in my own way, I tried to be the aurthor and I held up what was for me. Is everything perfect of course not life just isn’t but what life is , is a beautiful mess. I Love It!

Motherhood has made me embrace life in such a different way, I’m again will say I am greatful that I have been given the opportunity to become a mom. I’m Greatful I have learned how to be open and Ready for a blessing even if it takes longer than expected.