A Long Walk

I was sitting at home the other day just thinking about how blessed I am. I was remembering a time when things weren't as peaceful when thing were confusing and I didn't know when they were going to be ok. All I can do is smile and thank God. The walk I have come from was a long one but with him I made it! I'm going to let you in on a little of my walk and hopefully it will save you some of the steps in your walk. Before I met my wonderful husband I had been single for about 6 years. Durning that time I did some dating a lot of dating lol but my main focus was me and my future. I became one of those independent woman who worked hard spoiled myself and conquered many things. Now I also became a bit of a control freak. My atmosphere had been set the way I wanted it, which was free from any type of possible threat. I had hardened my heart and didnt even realize it because my little inner circle was fine. Guys I dated that didn't fit into my world I dismissed with the quickness never too look back. Guys who just said those trigger things like can I borrow or you think your better than me oh they had to go! I had set some standards which is good but I was also basing those standards on my own world I had created. Deep down inside I wanted that person I wanted a relationship I wanted a husband. I've always wanted that but wasn't sure if it was ever going to happen for me. I had friends who were in relationships all around me. It seemed like everyone around me had what I wanted how long did I have to wait I asked God. I was doing all the "right" things as they say. Going to church praying paying tithes. I had always been a giver and a helper so I was so confused on why the one thing I wanted was taking so long to get too me . When was it ever going to be my turn? Was it ever going to be my turn? As I pondered these questions in my head I continue on a path of dating and trying to put in "works" cause faith with out works is dead right?  Well I learned later that I totally misinterpreted what was being said in that scripture! What I've should of done was wait on the lord and be of good courage. Waiting is so hard isn't it ?Now that I am settled not wondering around a wilderness I created I can see the errors of my ways from back then. Instead of subjecting my self to unneeded drama in my life, I should have just focused solely on the inner me. What made me think that God needed help ? In all my helping I was hurting myself even more. The more I dated and failed the more I believe that I would never get the happiness I wanted so badly. The more I exposed myself to undeserving men more more myself esteem took a hit. So I was actually working against the plan instead of with the plan. In my senior year of college during a internship when I had decided to focus on school and just my personal growth. No more dating just divide on being a better me ! I met a man who I know was sent by God because his love is like none I have ever had before. I met my husband who at the time I had no idea he was just a cool dude. Will I say it was a fairytale transition we met and was married hat weekend no! I have someone in mylife who is made to endure the storms with me, who doesn't take away from me but adds to my value. I'll never forget that internship and I lol never forget the day we met ! I'll save that for another post lol. If you can save your self some steps by all means do it. Get out of your own way would be my best advised ! My walk would have been so much shorter and smoother if I hadn't gotten in Gods way ! Be Blessed !