Hello Everyone !!! (wave) Happy 2018 !!!
It has been a roller coaster year for me (2017) but I am truly excited for what this new Year is bringing . If you have been following me for a little while you know in 2015-2016 I went through some major trials and tribulations. Since then I have been fighting not to get back to me but to get to the me that I am now. What Ive realized in life is as a person, you have to constantly be learning or you won't be growing. I with out a shadow of a doubt am ready to Grown and Shine brighter than ever before. I hope the same for all of you ! As with anything willing to have there is always going to be a fight, I will say with confidence Im not a punk and my gloves are on. I want All God has for me, and I believe him and his promises he has made for my life.
So let me fast forward a little bit and catch you up since my long absence. I have remarried (Big Cheese) to one of the most wonderful human beings I have ever met. We have been friends for a very long time and it was love at first sight but neither of us was in a place too see it. I am also carrying a beautiful little girl who is due to be born this April. Oh How great is our God ! He's given me things that I never thought I would have and after what I have done didn't think I deserved. Getting here wasn't easy but it was worth fighting for. I will continue the fight for as long as I have to because I know now that anything God has blessed you with is worth it. Those I am lead to share with are always surprise at the story I share with them. The fight to become whole is not an easy one and it not always a clear one.
In my journey to become whole I had to fight a lot and sometimes I didn't even know who my opponent was. I have been emotionally recked, ridiculed, judged, abandoned and then finally accused. I really couldn't say which circumstance hurt the worst because it all felt pretty bad and there were some that shocked me. Never did I thought that I would loose friends on this journey, that I would be accused of being a bad friend and that I would be left to walk this thing out alone. There was no one there to discuss what I was feeling what I was going through. When I had people to listen it was either a judgment type remark or they had pressing issue they needed me to help with so there was no room for me to have a problem.
So there I was in this unfamiliar place, who knew I was going to have to learn how to actually live in this uncomfortable unfamiliar place. Even with all of my blessings there has been a fight of faith. Situations put pressure on you and sometimes make you want to quit especially when your have had a hurtful past. I have truly had to learn how to hold on no matter what. Even up until present day I am still fighting because the enemy wants me to believe that life for me will never be better. Ive learned how to look past the illusion. Ive learn that no matter what I go through holding on to God is not an option it is a necessity. No matter who's wants to go along with me Im choosing to stand any how. Sometimes I get frustrated, sometimes I get sad or confused. I have been fortunate enough for God to still have mercy and grace on me and he always sends someone or something to remind me there is hope. He reminds me that I am victorious that I can and will be what I was designed to be. No matter how tough I can push through it. The biggest lesson I've learned its okay to take care of me. I can say that I am a pretty selfless person, I enjoy helping which I believe is part of my purpose. Sometimes people will take advantage of that caring nature and pile there stuff on you, then you do not have the energy to help yourself. Ive even had moments where Ive felt guilty for thinking of me.
I will end this post with that and i'm think my next post will talk about others who emotionally unload on you. Illegal dumping. Stay tuned
I pray you are Living your best life yet
Until the next time smooches
It has been a roller coaster year for me (2017) but I am truly excited for what this new Year is bringing . If you have been following me for a little while you know in 2015-2016 I went through some major trials and tribulations. Since then I have been fighting not to get back to me but to get to the me that I am now. What Ive realized in life is as a person, you have to constantly be learning or you won't be growing. I with out a shadow of a doubt am ready to Grown and Shine brighter than ever before. I hope the same for all of you ! As with anything willing to have there is always going to be a fight, I will say with confidence Im not a punk and my gloves are on. I want All God has for me, and I believe him and his promises he has made for my life.
So let me fast forward a little bit and catch you up since my long absence. I have remarried (Big Cheese) to one of the most wonderful human beings I have ever met. We have been friends for a very long time and it was love at first sight but neither of us was in a place too see it. I am also carrying a beautiful little girl who is due to be born this April. Oh How great is our God ! He's given me things that I never thought I would have and after what I have done didn't think I deserved. Getting here wasn't easy but it was worth fighting for. I will continue the fight for as long as I have to because I know now that anything God has blessed you with is worth it. Those I am lead to share with are always surprise at the story I share with them. The fight to become whole is not an easy one and it not always a clear one.
In my journey to become whole I had to fight a lot and sometimes I didn't even know who my opponent was. I have been emotionally recked, ridiculed, judged, abandoned and then finally accused. I really couldn't say which circumstance hurt the worst because it all felt pretty bad and there were some that shocked me. Never did I thought that I would loose friends on this journey, that I would be accused of being a bad friend and that I would be left to walk this thing out alone. There was no one there to discuss what I was feeling what I was going through. When I had people to listen it was either a judgment type remark or they had pressing issue they needed me to help with so there was no room for me to have a problem.
So there I was in this unfamiliar place, who knew I was going to have to learn how to actually live in this uncomfortable unfamiliar place. Even with all of my blessings there has been a fight of faith. Situations put pressure on you and sometimes make you want to quit especially when your have had a hurtful past. I have truly had to learn how to hold on no matter what. Even up until present day I am still fighting because the enemy wants me to believe that life for me will never be better. Ive learned how to look past the illusion. Ive learn that no matter what I go through holding on to God is not an option it is a necessity. No matter who's wants to go along with me Im choosing to stand any how. Sometimes I get frustrated, sometimes I get sad or confused. I have been fortunate enough for God to still have mercy and grace on me and he always sends someone or something to remind me there is hope. He reminds me that I am victorious that I can and will be what I was designed to be. No matter how tough I can push through it. The biggest lesson I've learned its okay to take care of me. I can say that I am a pretty selfless person, I enjoy helping which I believe is part of my purpose. Sometimes people will take advantage of that caring nature and pile there stuff on you, then you do not have the energy to help yourself. Ive even had moments where Ive felt guilty for thinking of me.
I will end this post with that and i'm think my next post will talk about others who emotionally unload on you. Illegal dumping. Stay tuned
I pray you are Living your best life yet
Until the next time smooches
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