Hello Peeps *waves* to everyone!
Over the Last few Years, ya girl has been through quiet a few trials and tribulations. I won't say all was bad but... when things got bad it was like the worst of the worst. I found out recently that the human brain is programed to remember the bad first, its kind of a part of our fight or flight instincts. So when it comes to the good we kind of have to work super hard to remember and fight mentally to live in those moments. I'll get to that part in a moment.....
I was having a conversation the other day with one of my closest dearest friends, and we were talking about a mutual friend and there relationship struggle and how we have been there before. Its amazing how much your learn and don't even realize it until your speaking it out your very own mouth. The topic was about bad relationships and the choice we make too stay in them. *blank stare * Yeah we went there. In talking things through I realized there was a common theme that accompanied and almost always was a factor in these relationships or situation-ships (what ever you want to call them) and it was a damaged self esteem & insecurity. This damage could have been done before or after the situation has taken a turn for the worst. Days later I'm still thinking about this conversation, because I'm always in my brain about something lol. I had a upcoming a appointment with my paid$$ bestie (my therapist)(love her)(don't judge therapist are great !) and I was going to talk to her about this thing called self esteem. A thing that has pledged me for far too long in my life. The thing about a issue such as insecurity which is aka low self esteem or low self worth, its really hard to pin point when it all begin. If you pay attention though you can pick out the issues that are adding on too it. I can't remember when, or how my insecurities started but I knew they were there.
Every time a familiar situation would make me feel inadequate or uncomfortable, threatened ill even say, here comes my best frenemy insecurity. You know those friends (frenemies) who pretend they care but secretly are trying to sabotage you. They want to make sure you don't succeed, supersede them or leave them behind. Thats exactly how insecurity presents it self. It tells you that your protecting your self from harm, but what your really doing is digging your self in to a hole and covering the hole. Separating your self from the things and people you love. Those same people who can help hold you up when you need them. Becoming angry at people and things you think you can't have. Allowing your self to be passed by, by things that you deserve not feeling good enough. Now Ms insecurity being the trickster she is really has low self worth her self so she keeps others around to make her feel better about her. Ms Insecurity can't hang (function) by her self, she's apart of the bad Girl club. Her crew consists of the bullies called fear, envy, jealousy and low self esteem. Usually when you See one of them the others are present that's just how they roll. Stealing your thoughts, you peace and your happiness.
Ok Rewind back to my therapy session ... Im talking to my paid bestie (therapist) and telling her about how horribly insecure I was growing up and how I was bullied and teased didn't think much of myself because I was different. My therapist looks at me and says I never would have guest that, you present to be so strong so confident. (so love her) In that moment I knew that the work I had been doing was paying off and the Insecurity crew was busted.
We really talked over the next couple of weeks Me and paid bestie (therapist) because I wanted to understand and know where did this come from. Why do I get scared, why did I allow this person to treat me this way, Why did I stay, or go back to something I knew wasn't good for me. The revelation hit me when I was alone writing in my journal one day. Me developing low self esteem at a young age, laid the foundation to what had happened to me in my teenage life through now in my adult life. Do I know where it began no, but at least I recognize it and acknowledge it as an issue. Every bad relationship I decided to get into and stayed added more on too the issue. Every excuse that I made for a person who didn't treat me well or the way I deserved to be treated added more to my insecurity. Every lie I told to friends or family too cover up my issue and pretend I was okay the insecurity crew was WINNING! Every time I walked in a room with a fake painted on smile, but dying on the inside INSECURITY WAS WINNING ! The perfectionist that I sometimes am couldn't allow my self to lose. Was down for a second yeah, maybe 2 seconds but when i got back up I got back up with fire and determination. I wanted my happy back! and refused to let nothing or anyone take that away from me. Is it work ? Of course it is but in life anything worth having is going to be work. Making the decision be a good friend too your self ! Take down the leader of the insecurity crew and the rest of her peeps will leave too ! Trust me it can be done !
If anything I hope you can take away this, insecurity is something a lot of people experience, like a lot of other things no one asks too be this way. A lot of times we don't even know that where functioning in it. There is freedom from insecurity and all that comes along with it. We were born purposely, we are designed too be great. Don't allow the insecurity gang to take that from you. See if we don't give them power they can't live. So take charge of your happiness. Im taking back mines every day, I admit it feels even better when good things happen after you have conquered the bad things.
Be Blessed
Pleases Share comment
you never know who may need some encouragement
Over the Last few Years, ya girl has been through quiet a few trials and tribulations. I won't say all was bad but... when things got bad it was like the worst of the worst. I found out recently that the human brain is programed to remember the bad first, its kind of a part of our fight or flight instincts. So when it comes to the good we kind of have to work super hard to remember and fight mentally to live in those moments. I'll get to that part in a moment.....
I was having a conversation the other day with one of my closest dearest friends, and we were talking about a mutual friend and there relationship struggle and how we have been there before. Its amazing how much your learn and don't even realize it until your speaking it out your very own mouth. The topic was about bad relationships and the choice we make too stay in them. *blank stare * Yeah we went there. In talking things through I realized there was a common theme that accompanied and almost always was a factor in these relationships or situation-ships (what ever you want to call them) and it was a damaged self esteem & insecurity. This damage could have been done before or after the situation has taken a turn for the worst. Days later I'm still thinking about this conversation, because I'm always in my brain about something lol. I had a upcoming a appointment with my paid$$ bestie (my therapist)(love her)(don't judge therapist are great !) and I was going to talk to her about this thing called self esteem. A thing that has pledged me for far too long in my life. The thing about a issue such as insecurity which is aka low self esteem or low self worth, its really hard to pin point when it all begin. If you pay attention though you can pick out the issues that are adding on too it. I can't remember when, or how my insecurities started but I knew they were there.
Every time a familiar situation would make me feel inadequate or uncomfortable, threatened ill even say, here comes my best frenemy insecurity. You know those friends (frenemies) who pretend they care but secretly are trying to sabotage you. They want to make sure you don't succeed, supersede them or leave them behind. Thats exactly how insecurity presents it self. It tells you that your protecting your self from harm, but what your really doing is digging your self in to a hole and covering the hole. Separating your self from the things and people you love. Those same people who can help hold you up when you need them. Becoming angry at people and things you think you can't have. Allowing your self to be passed by, by things that you deserve not feeling good enough. Now Ms insecurity being the trickster she is really has low self worth her self so she keeps others around to make her feel better about her. Ms Insecurity can't hang (function) by her self, she's apart of the bad Girl club. Her crew consists of the bullies called fear, envy, jealousy and low self esteem. Usually when you See one of them the others are present that's just how they roll. Stealing your thoughts, you peace and your happiness.
Ok Rewind back to my therapy session ... Im talking to my paid bestie (therapist) and telling her about how horribly insecure I was growing up and how I was bullied and teased didn't think much of myself because I was different. My therapist looks at me and says I never would have guest that, you present to be so strong so confident. (so love her) In that moment I knew that the work I had been doing was paying off and the Insecurity crew was busted.
We really talked over the next couple of weeks Me and paid bestie (therapist) because I wanted to understand and know where did this come from. Why do I get scared, why did I allow this person to treat me this way, Why did I stay, or go back to something I knew wasn't good for me. The revelation hit me when I was alone writing in my journal one day. Me developing low self esteem at a young age, laid the foundation to what had happened to me in my teenage life through now in my adult life. Do I know where it began no, but at least I recognize it and acknowledge it as an issue. Every bad relationship I decided to get into and stayed added more on too the issue. Every excuse that I made for a person who didn't treat me well or the way I deserved to be treated added more to my insecurity. Every lie I told to friends or family too cover up my issue and pretend I was okay the insecurity crew was WINNING! Every time I walked in a room with a fake painted on smile, but dying on the inside INSECURITY WAS WINNING ! The perfectionist that I sometimes am couldn't allow my self to lose. Was down for a second yeah, maybe 2 seconds but when i got back up I got back up with fire and determination. I wanted my happy back! and refused to let nothing or anyone take that away from me. Is it work ? Of course it is but in life anything worth having is going to be work. Making the decision be a good friend too your self ! Take down the leader of the insecurity crew and the rest of her peeps will leave too ! Trust me it can be done !
If anything I hope you can take away this, insecurity is something a lot of people experience, like a lot of other things no one asks too be this way. A lot of times we don't even know that where functioning in it. There is freedom from insecurity and all that comes along with it. We were born purposely, we are designed too be great. Don't allow the insecurity gang to take that from you. See if we don't give them power they can't live. So take charge of your happiness. Im taking back mines every day, I admit it feels even better when good things happen after you have conquered the bad things.
Be Blessed
Pleases Share comment
you never know who may need some encouragement
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