Be Accountable... I find myself reflecting ... Over the last few years so much has changed. I have changed. I am still changing. I think back to when change began. Those things that assisted me in changing assisted me in growing. First and for most nothing's possible without God without him I could achieve nothing. The moment I choose to become serious with God was the best change I ever made in my life. In doing that I learned the value of accouability. Let me take you on a little history journey with me.... Growing up I always found myself questioning things why do I have to look the way I look, why did I have the hair that I have, why couldn't I have the "perfect" family others had, why couldn't my family be rich. The list goes on and on ... I always had a desire to be something different than who I was.Often I was referred too as "boring". I would look at the popular girls in school who were either popular based of what they had or how well they could fight and envy them. As I got older and saw life from different perspectives my whys changed. Why didn't I get a body like that, why can't I be happy, why can't I get a man. ( then get a man) now it's why is he so inconsiderate why can't he be who I need him too be. The list of whys can go on for days. Sound familiar? I never really realized in my whys I was questions how God created and designed me as if he made a mistake . I really did know any better I wanted to be apart of society's acceptable crowd. Over the last couple of years I worked on my whys, Ive lost weight, I've gotten degrees :), I've gotten married , I've changed my circle of friends changed eating habits etc. All of a sudden one day, I realized I still was feeling unhappy. Still had so whys left in me. You would think with all of that I'd be on a cloud right ?! I "fixed" outward things but didn't change my thinking. This is where accouability comes in. I thought by changing those things getting into a relationship they were responsible for making me feel happy feel secure. Not so ! Taking accountability of your own happiness is what makes the difference. You have to decided no matter what I am going to be happy! Sometimes it's not an easy task you may be burden down with so much and not know where to turn. I promise you if you look for it you will see the light ! A good way to help motivate your self if an accountability test . What kind of friend are you to yourself? Are you as good of a friend to yourself as you are to others? Are you a good friend at all? Are you as dedicated to encourage yourself like you are friends or loved ones? Have you sacrificed your happy to make sure everyone else has there's? I know I've done it many times ! Do I regret helping others absolutely not. My only regret is my one sided view of encouragement. I thought you encourage others and someone will encourage you but sometimes you have to encourage yourself. There situations where you won't have the time or be able to reach out for that encouragement. Now I can say when I wake up, I speak life into my day. I don't depend on one particular thing or person to bring me joy. I take ownership of my happiness I've learned how to be happy with just being me! People, places, things can come and go but a made up mind is forever. Now am I saying forget everyone and everything just focus on self No! absolutely not I am saying balance is key! Learning to treat yourself they way you deserve first teaches others how to treat you ,second it lowers the expectations you have on others. Don't depend on the actions of others to determine if your happy or not they will fail you every time! You can only be responsible for how you treat others that's it! It's starts on the inside of us. Be accountable for your good decisions your bad decisions dust off move on ! Apologize forgive these things are so important ! Don't hold up time because your waiting on something to make you happy. Pick up happy just like you would your wallet or purse carry it with you where ever you go. Watch and see your life will be come a joy magnet !
The word Empty is a small word but it holds much power. Too be empty is too not be full ... Empty also can mean to be filled with. Opening my eyes doesn't seem to feel the same anymore, the dread of the unknown almost makes me want to stay asleep. I never thought that I could ever be this low. I never thought the the insecurity and the feeling of never fitting in would creep up on me in my adult life. You see things in life that are meant to bring you down will tap on you discreetly almost subliminally. They continue to hit you in the same spot over and over again, just like a construction worker who needs to break down a wall. The construction worker will target the weakest point to gain access, and begin there demolition focused on that point. So here I am empty, like a car that has run out of gas (which ironically enough recently happened too me lol ugh ). If you have ever ran out of gas you know that the vehicle is at its low point and is unable to function. It has pulled o...
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