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Help Dilemma

Guilty!!!! 
Being a fixer can be a great thing and it can be a counter productive thing all at the same time. If you are used to being the person who is put in the position too handle everything. Even put your self in the position without being ask. Sometimes you play the role of parent  and don't even have any children. Becoming the responsible sibling when your not the oldestor an only child.  That person who is readily available to help. Taking up the slack always no matter how your left feeling. I learned we can become addicted to almost anything! I had become addicted to helping. I had no idea that I have an addiction to helping. Don't get me wrong it's great to help others by all means but not at the expense of hurting yourself. Or to the point that you resent others for not reciprocating things the way you do. I am the type of person when faced with a challenge I attack it head on and am usually successful in tackling that challenge. In doing so I sometimes rob a person of the opportunity of learning. To be great at something is awesome,  but instead of taking over a problem sometimes you should share tour knowledge. You will be helping some one for a life time instead of a moment. Time for a self check! I had to examine myself to see ,why was I willing to put it all on the line while neglecting my own needs? I came to the conclusion that was my way of trying to receive what I was missing. Missing Love, missing friendships, missing esteem. The more I did it some of the joy was lost because partly it was for the wrong reasons. I love to help but as I have said before you have to be good to you as well. There are a few reasons for the help addiction. (Probably many more these are some I found) Loneliness, control, low self esteem, need to belong, attention seeking, need for validation. All these cheapen the value of the help you provide. Now there have been terms and conditions applyied with your help. Other have signed a contract and they don't even know it.  The most common reward expected is loyalty! (that's a whole other subject in it self). This person has now been setup up to fail your expectations just by allowing you to help them! Counter productive isn't it! Helping others is a wonderful things it's the best gift you can give. In doing so try to evaluate your motive. Do I really just want too assist or am I looking for something out of it? If this is you like it was me, take the time to find out what it is your looking for. What you feel like your missing? What is it that you really need?Pray about it, maintain awareness so not to continue this way. Helping will truly be helping and you will gain a sense of fulfillment in just that HELPING ...no behind the scene need! Everyone in life at some point needs some good help let's start giving it! No strings attached! Some people will be ungrateful selfish you may not even get a thank you. If your helping for the right reasons all those things will no longer matter at this point your did what was right and what was best. Have a Blessed , Productive and Amazing week!! :) 

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